HEY MIKE! I know that we’re supposed to wait until marriage to have sex, but I just don’t understand why. My girlfriend and I love each other deeply, and we know we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. Eventually, we plan to get married; it’s a lack of money that’s holding us back right now. Actually, we think of ourselves as being married; we just don’t have the little piece of paper that says we are. Why does God require us to have this in order to prove that we are committed to each other?
—D.L., Porterville, Calif.
I’m glad you used the word commitment to describe a marriage relationship. This word is the driving force behind that “little piece of paper” you mentioned—the one you don’t have.
That paper represents a formal spiritual and civil order that sets marriage apart as an important, complex and sacred relationship. Not to diminish your love for your girlfriend, D.L., but it’s easy to feel ready for the sexual union that God established as a benefit of marriage. But marriage is much more. It includes the responsibilities of bearing and raising kids, the ability to provide and care for a family, and the maturity to remain committed to loving your spouse even when the feelings ebb and flow. The institution of marriage lets us know that all of this is serious business—and reminds us that until you’re ready for all of it, you’re not ready for its benefits.
Of course, the document itself doesn’t prove a husband’s commitment to his wife; it’s the actions behind a marriage certificate that speak of a sacred, lifelong vow a couple makes before friends, family and God.
The Lord blessed me with my beautiful wife, Tiffany. One of the first steps I took before getting engaged was to ask Tiffany’s dad for his permission to get married as well as his blessing on our life together.
In the months that followed, we kept our relationship within sight of our families. We also accepted a season of patient waiting. In order for our love to blossom into what it’s supposed to be, we knew we had to wait. But most important of all, we knew that being obedient to God and His plan would prove our commitment to Him and to each other.
The Bible is clear that God created sex as an incredible gift to be fully enjoyed within marriage. Why? As I said earlier, it’s about way more than pleasure. It’s a deeply spiritual, emotional and physical connection that binds a man and woman together and represents God’s character through its abilities to create life and foster intimacy. By God’s design, the marriage covenant is the only one strong enough to wield such a powerful gift. It’s not enough for a man and a woman to think of themselves as married or to merely feel as if they’re committed; they have to actually be these things.
It may be tempting to sample early from sex, but as you’ve read in other Breakaway articles and heard in youth group, there are painful consequences for using this gift outside the context God created for it. Sometimes those consequences can even wreck a love that has the potential to last a lifetime. 
