Next time you’re in the school cafeteria or at a youth group meeting, try a little experiment. Look around you. That’s right—allow your eyes to take a long, slow pan across the room. So, what do you see? Cliques. Herds of guys and girls who never seem to cross an invisible line that separates the classes.
The cool kids (usually the jocks and prom queens, right?) claim one part of the room. The skaters, surfers, and metal heads hang out in another. The science and computer kids try to lie low somewhere in a corner.
How about YOU? Where do you fit into the picture? Do you feel like you’re part of the middle mass of nothingness, someone who just blends into the tabletops? Or do you feel as if every eye is on YOU—like you’re the featured act in today’s teenage freak show?
Guess what? You’re NOT a freak—or a zero. And despite what herd you run with, your life counts. So keep reading, because on the pages that follow, we’ll give you a can’t-lose strategy for building confidence and a better new you.
Cool Redefined
Tired of the rigid cool code? Sick of playing the popularity game? Then it’s time for a change. It’s time to let the One who created you and everything in this world, not the so-called popular people, navigate your life. It’s time to let the God of all eternity, not a passing crowd, define what is and isn’t cool. How?
Learn what God really thinks of you. We’ve all heard that God loves us. And we know that God allowed His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on a cross and pay the penalty of our sin—which demonstrates the extent of His love. Then why don’t we act as if this is the most incredible news we’ve ever heard? If God—the One who created us—says we are worthy of His love, why do we pursue what our culture thinks is cool in order to feel good about ourselves?
Understand that you were made for much more than parties and popularity. In fact, the Lord doesn’t measure your worth the way people do. The Bible says He sets little value on the things we treasure so much, especially the three B’s: brains, outer beauty, and bucks. Why? Because these diversions often mess up our self-confidence and get in the way of our knowing Christ deeper and fulfilling His will for our lives.
Strive for GREATNESS. Here are some keys: Know Jesus personally, saturate your mind with Scripture, pray, rely on God’s strength when you’re weak, and seek the kind of joy that can only come from a hope in heaven, not from the things of this world. (Crack open your Bible and read Colossians 1:9-23 for more ideas.) Bottom line: Value what Jesus values. He will guide you along a path that leads to purpose and meaning in life—that is, if you let Him.
Confidence Clues
Clue No. 1: Take Inventory
Sometime soon, stand in front of a full-length mirror and evaluate the person you see. As you study the kid in the mirror, ask yourself some honest questions: Who am I? Is this the best me? Is there room for improvement? What can I change? What must I accept about myself?
Next, vow to God and to yourself to make the most out of what you have. Seek to improve the things that are within your power to change, and accept what you cannot change.
Ask the Lord to help you make up for your weaknesses by concentrating on your strengths. In other words, if you’re not exactly crazy about your looks, tell yourself this: So I’m not male model material. Big deal—I’m not alone! Besides, my self-worth isn’t dependent on the arrangement of my body. I’ll put my energy into a skill that’ll help me feel good about myself. I’m a talented _____ [insert the word that applies to you, such as musician, artist, athlete]. I’ll continue to improve this skill and become the best I can be.
Clue No. 2: Focus on the RIGHT Image—Christ’s
As you stand in front of the mirror, think about all the other times you’ve spent in that very spot, flexing your muscles, combing your hair, checking out those new clothes—expending so much effort seeking acceptance. Now consider this: Christ “had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him” (Isaiah 53:2). People were attracted to Jesus because His beauty was internal. His heart emanated unlimited love. The peace in His eyes drew crowds. The joy of His smile was contagious. Seek to make His focus your own.
Clue No. 3: Get an Attitude Adjustment
Proverbs 15:4 says, “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” Begin to replace “I don’t know how” with “Now is the time for me to learn.” Replace “I can’t” with “I will.”
Keep in mind that it’s not where you are at that’s important; it’s where you’re headed. Take Michael Jordan, for example. He got cut from a basketball team during his early years. When that happened, the rejection was probably quite painful for him. Yet he didn’t remain discouraged for long, and he didn’t give up.
Clue No. 4: Beware of the Company You Keep
Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” In other words, a friend of winners will be a winner but a friend of fools will die. Now check out 1 Corinthians 15:33-34: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.” 
