Shawn McDonald was one of those teens most people had written off as hopeless. Abandoned by his parents and raised by his grandmother in Eugene, Ore., his early years were, in his words, “Extremely dazed and confused.” But not from the latest Starbucks concoction.
At 13, Shawn was already into the party scene, getting weekend beer buzzes with his friends from school. By 16, he added a stronger high to the menu: Shawn began smoking marijuana.
“I was a confused kid, and my confusion boiled into anger,” Shawn says. “You name the drug, and I was eventually selling it and doing it.
“My existence had become a hard, closed shell. I was extremely rebellious, miserable and lost. What God is doing now in my life is amazing.”
From Simply Nothing to “All I Need”
A decade later, Shawn is a transformed man.
With a promising recording career and a fresh future in Seattle, he’s out to share the hope that drives his life: “There’s absolute love and truth that can only be found in the One who created everything, the Lord God of the Universe,” he says. That’s what Shawn communicates on his debut release, Simply Nothing.
All 12 of his acoustically driven tracks reveal the heart of a believer whose faith has grown from doubt, struggle — even unthinkable pain. The result: An honest look at sin, grace and redemption.
“Honesty is huge to me,” Shawn says. “That’s what I think people connect with in my concerts. I get up on stage and talk about my life and my struggles and my experiences, good and bad.
“I sing, and I talk about it all,” he continues. “How can we have a true picture of what grace is if we don’t admit our own sin and brokenness?”
In the paragraphs that follow, Shawn talks candidly with Breakaway about his brokenness, as well as his journey of hope and healing in Christ.
Breakaway: Take us back to your childhood. Why did your parents abandon you?
Shawn McDonald: They were following the times: My parents were part of the hippie generation, which meant they were big-time partygoers and very self-centered. They didn’t want the responsibility of being a mom and a dad, so when I came along, they decided to put me up for adoption. That’s when my grandmother stepped in.
She raised me yet allowed my parents to take me occasionally. But time after time, they’d realize that taking care of a child is hard. They didn’t enjoy changing diapers and a crying baby. So they’d dump me off with my grandparents. It got to the point where my grandma said, “You’re going to ruin this kid’s life if you don’t give him something constant. Either you take him or leave him. Pick one or the other.”
My parents decided to leave.
How did this affect your confidence?
Like I said, I was a confused kid. I felt I was different. There’s got to be something wrong with me, I’d often wonder. Am I unlovable? Is there something that makes others not want me?
I wrestled with these questions. I’m sure that’s why I ended up going wild and getting into trouble.
Trouble that landed you in jail.
That’s right. I was working the street corners, dealing drugs. (I always carried large quantities with me.) I got busted and ended up facing nine felony charges for possessing and growing marijuana, as well as dealing LSD and a bunch of other drugs.
So how did you end up turning your life around?
I got to the lowest point ever, a deep hole. I started using all sorts of drugs: heroine, crack, mushrooms. I got arrested again, and it was really heavy this time. As I sat behind bars, I began to realize that something was desperately wrong with me. I started questioning my whole existence: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I going to do with my life?
Is that when you turned to God?
Yes — and no. After I got out of jail, a Christian friend began inviting me to church. He told me about the peace he had found. I acted as though I was listening, but I really wasn’t. I thought what he was telling me sounded boring.
Yet I was enticed by spiritual issues and, at the time, I was dabbling with Rastafarianism and Hinduism. Bob Marley was a huge idol of mine.
And your friend didn’t give up on you?
Yes — and no! He constantly pointed me to Scripture and invited me to church. Two weeks before I met the Lord, my friend confessed his frustration with God. He shared with me how he had prayed, “God, I don’t get it. I’ve poured my life into this kid. I don’t understand why You don’t lead him to You.”
But you eventually gave your life to Christ. What happened?
I prayed something like this: “God, I don’t know who You are or where You are, but I need to find You. Whoever You are, show yourself to me. Give me a sign.”
Flipping open an old Bible, I began reading a passage from Matthew. I sensed the Lord telling me to clean the drugs out of my life. I immediately got rid of everything. One day later, the police arrived with a search warrant. I was clean and didn’t get arrested. At that point, I was convinced that God really cared about me.
I did a 180 and began running to Him. For the next three years, my thirst for the Lord seemed as out of control as my past drug use. I was consumed with studying the Bible and reading every book about God that I could get my hands on. In the midst of all this, I started writing worship songs, and my friends encouraged me to perform them.
Is this how you got started as a musician?
It’s exactly how I became an artist. I had this beat-up guitar that I’d play at church. I’d perform my worship songs every Sunday, and eventually, I started getting invitations to play around the Pacific Northwest. So I did the coffeehouse thing, and little by little, I gained publicity.
What’s next for you?
My faith and my career are both a learning process. My music is a way of talking to God. It’s prayer. So my goal is to journey with people and to grow with them.
