HEY MIKE! My friends and I constantly pick on this kid at school. He’s small for his age, and he’s kind of weak, so we get a few laughs at his expense. The thing is, this kid and I are both Christians and attend the same youth group. During winter retreat I couldn’t even look him in the eye—yet he treated me with kindness. At one point, he even forgave me for the cruel stuff I’d done to him. I see now that I’ve acted like a jerk and a hypocrite, and I’m totally disgusted with myself. How can I make things right? How can I quit being a bully?
—Name Withheld
It sounds as if you’ve figured out who the weak ones are. Yep—you and your friends at school, not the boy you’ve been picking on. The truth is, this “small kid” has walked with man-sized faith. He obviously knows the source of real strength. (There’s a lot you can learn from him.)
Words like jerk and hypocrite are accurate descriptions of your behavior. But I’m happy that they don’t reflect the person you are inside. You’ve already taken the first step toward change: You realize that being a bully is wrong, and you care enough to make things right.
Now it’s time to show some real courage.
Once you’ve made things right with God, it’s time to face your victim. And when you do, look him in the eye this time. Tell him you’re sorry. You mentioned that he offered forgiveness without your even asking for it. Express to him how grateful you are that he forgives you. Let him know that you’ll strive to treat him, and others, differently.
Next, face your friends. Tell them that this kind of behavior is going to stop, beginning with you.
It’s also time to change your attitude about bullying. I’m not sure what you’ve been taught on this issue, but understand that hurting others physically or with words is never right. As a Christian young man, it’s up to you to promote change. How? Consider these do’s and don’ts.
DO create a safe harbor where you and your friends can retreat. Let a bullied friend know that you take his dilemma seriously and that you care. Use your gifts for others. Use your size, not to pick on others, but to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.
DON’T think that bullying is innocent fun. Never dismiss it as harmless boyhood behavior or as a “hardening experience” that will prepare you and your friends for manhood.
DO stand up for the underdog. What should you do if you see some guy being picked on? Check out what God has to say about this: “He will defend the afflicted among the people” (Psalm 72:4). “Defend the cause of the weak” (Psalm 82:3). Sounds pretty clear-cut. If possible, step in and let the bully know that what he’s doing is harmful.
DON’T use violence to correct a wrong. If there’s a chance of violence if you intervene, go to a teacher or the principal. It’s not snitching; it’s helping a classmate. It also shows real courage. 
