HEY MIKE! I have a friend who’s going waaay too far sexually with his girlfriend. He’s a Christian, she isn’t. I know I should talk straight with him about this, but I don’t want to lose a friend. He says he feels guilty, but he also says he doesn’t want to stop. What should I say?
—C.J., Blackduck, Minn.
You’re right, C.J.—what you say at this point is important. Not because you may end up losing a friend, but because he’s making some wrong choices and needs someone to get into his face with the truth.
As far as how to approach your friend, you definitely need some help. It’s important that you discuss this situation with a trusted adult: your dad, a youth leader, a Christian teacher.
When you feel ready to talk, here are some thoughts on what you can say:
Point out what the Bible says, especially since your friend is a Christian. He needs to understand that sex outside of marriage is sin. It goes against God’s plan and can end up destroying his relationship with Christ—and ultimately his life. A key passage you might consider is Colossians 3:1-10.
Explain that Christians should hold sex in high regard—not cheapen this wonderful gift by giving it away to just anyone. It sounds as if your friend has reduced sex to a physical act and just another way of having fun. To him, sex = recreation.
Help him understand that today’s actions will have consequences tomorrow. The fact is, sex outside of marriage can never be safe. Even if your friend says he’ll use protection, explain that between him and a thin sheath lies potential disaster. When you have sex with someone (and if they’re experienced), it’s like having sex with all of that person’s partners. Anyone who has sex outside of marriage—even just once—is at risk of catching an STD.
Let your friend know that there’s a better way. Present the hope and encouragement all Christians have through Jesus. Point him to Ephesians 2:1-10. 
