HEY MIKE! I’ve really like this girl for three years and want to tell her how I feel, but I can’t. I’m afraid I’ll ruin our friendship. But every time I see her, I go INSANE! When does "like" turn to love?
—J.H., Jamestown, Mich.
You’ve asked two different questions, so let’s start with the first one: How do I communicate my feelings to this girl?
It amazes me that what comes so easy for girls (verbalizing emotions) is like brain surgery for guys. Think about it, J.H. You’ve known this girl for three years, so why are you agonizing over telling her how you feel about her? I seriously doubt that she will reject you. Unlike guys, girls actually want males to share their TRUE feelings with them.
I think that what you’re most afraid of is the possibility that she doesn’t feel the same way about you — which could change your friendship. This brings us to your next question: When does "like" turn to love?
Discerning between major LIKE and heart-thumping LOVE gets kinda fuzzy. Both involve a magnetic-like attraction, as well as those head-over-heels, "insane attacks" you mentioned. But the difference between LIKE and LOVE is this: Love goes way beyond simple emotions. True love involves commitment. It means putting the needs of another above your own: "It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth" (I Corinthians 13:5,6). Is this what you experience when you’re with this girl? Here’s what I suggest you do. First, pray about this whole situation. Ask God to help you sort through your feelings and to help you understand the difference between like and love. Ask Him for the courage to accept the possibility that she may only want to be friends.
Next, find a trustworthy adult guy (your dad, a youth worker) and get an older male’s perspective. It really helps to learn from guys who have been there.
Finally, when you feel the moment is right, talk to this girl. Tell her how special she is to you, as well as how much you value her friendship. Make an effort to clue in to how she feels about you. Then it’s time for the next step: Choose to hold on to a great friendship . . . or move it to a guy/girl thing. 
