HEY MIKE! I’m confused. I’m in tears. I don’t get it. I pray and God picks me up. Then I fall and crawl back into a web of lust. I really need help. I’ve read your articles about beating this stuff, and I’m trying to change. It seems that I constantly think about girls and sex. Am I OK? I’m afraid to talk to my parents or pastor about my struggles. What should I do?
—Name Withheld
Your attraction to girls is totally normal and God-given. That’s right — it’s all His idea. Despite how the media distort it, sex really isn’t some kind of dirty three-letter word. It’s actually a gift — an awesome part of your life that you should never be ashamed of.
In fact, God wants you to have self-control now so that you can enjoy this gift in the future — with your wife in a lifelong Christian marriage. What’s more, He wants you to behave like a gentleman and to have the utmost respect for girls and women. “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22).
But let’s face it: Pursuing purity isn’t easy. Here are some tips on how you can stay cool when the heat is on. You may want to check out Tribe: A Warrior’s Battles for much more advice.
First, bring your sexual struggles into the light. Don’t try to hide from them. (God already knows what you think and do in private, and He understands your struggles better than you.) Continue to pray and confess your sins and weaknesses to God. Acknowledge before Him your lack of power to control your sexual urges.
Next, ask God to heal your sexuality, making it the awesome thing He intends it to be. The key to healthy sexuality is outlined in Scripture. Here’s what the apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.”
With God’s help, every teen boy must seek self-control over his sexuality. Keep in mind the “Three D’s” of purity: The Lord demands our self-control, girls deserve it, and it enables you to develop into the godly man you were created to be.
Finally, understand that getting help is another important step you’ve got to take. Even though you’re afraid to talk to an adult, I urge you not to struggle alone. Breaking free from lust can be a difficult endeavor, one that requires commitment, perseverance and a strong relationship with the Lord. Find a trusted Christian male and share your heart. 
