HEY MIKE! I’m small and kind of “underdeveloped” for a teenager—unlike most of the guys at school. They have muscles and look older, and even get noticed by girls. Instead, I’m skinny and always get treated like a little kid. I don’t feel like I measure up as a man. How can I handle this?
—J.E., Richmond, Va.
It’s lousy to feel different—especially when everybody else is growing up around you, yet you seem to be stuck in neutral. But understand this: You won’t remain trapped in a child’s body forever. Sometime soon your hormones will kick into gear, and you’ll begin the transformation from boy to man.
According to Dr. James Dobson, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” In his book, Preparing for Adolescence, he explains that it’s just as healthy to grow up later as earlier. “Just hold steady for a year or two, and the fireworks will begin to pop for you, just as for everybody else!”
The fact is, your growth into manhood is a hereditary thing. You’ll develop at a similar rate as your parents. So, you may want to sit down with your father and ask a few questions: “Dad, how old were you when you got taller? At what age did puberty hit? Did you ever feel as if you were smaller than other guys your age? How’d you handle it?” You might also consider talking to your family doctor during your next physical.
But regardless of your size right now—or how big you get in the months ahead—remember this: Others will accept you because of your attitude, not your altitude. It’s best to focus your energy on growing the man inside: who you are at your core, how you treat other people, and especially how much you imitate Christ.
Remind your brain (and bod) of three truths: (1) Despite all the different body shapes and sizes you see at school or in the locker room, rest assured: YOU’RE NORMAL! (2) You’re created by God Almighty, the God of the universe, and He doesn’t make mistakes. (3) Anchor your confidence in Christ and the one-of-a-kind man He wants you to be.
HEY MIKE! I know the Lord wants me to obey Him and do His will, but I feel as if lust—which I sometimes find uncontrollable—is keeping me from being the person God wants me to be. What’s more, my Christian friends aren’t the best role models. They cuss and crack dirty jokes—and I seem to follow right in their footsteps. How can I live right when everything keeps pulling me down?
—G.D., Elgin, Ill.
You’ve identified two key battles every teen guy faces.
On the friendship front, it’s important to be careful of the company you keep. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” In other words, a friend of winners will be a winner, but a friend of fools could end up harming his life.
The most important thing you can do is to find a “shield of friends”: one or two Christian guys who are committed to Jesus; guys who are serious about moving toward God, not away from Him.
Hang out with these kinds of friends and hold each other accountable for living out your Christian faith. Encourage and pray for each other (see Hebrews 10:19-25). It’s hard for any guy to stay consistent if he doesn’t have these kinds of connections.
The right friends can help you with your next struggle: lust.
Get accountable. Begin “wait training” with another Christian buddy. Talk with your pastor about getting into an accountability group at church.
Consider the “father factor.” When it comes to sexual struggles, fathers can offer wisdom, suggestions and even more accountability. If dad isn’t in the picture, connect with a trusted male relative, pastor or youth leader.
Arm yourself with Scripture. God wants to renew your mind and shape your thinking about sex. Plug into the Bible daily and even try to memorize Scripture. 
