HEY MIKE! I have a serious guilty conscience. See, I've sinned in a number of ways lately: I cheated at school and then covered it up with a bunch of lies. I've been dishonest with my teachers as well as my parents. Now I feel like a hypocrite. I don't know how to make things right, and I don't even know how to talk to God about this. Any advice?
—Name Withheld
Take a look at this passage from the Bible: "But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God 'will give to each person according to what he has done.' To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger" (Romans 2:5-8).
Sounds scary. But, believe it or not, I have some good news: You don't have to live with a huge load of guilt and shame in your life. Christ is actually reaching out to you with open arms. Go to Him in prayer. Tell Him all about your sins, tell Him you're sorry, and He'll forgive you. In Jesus, you'll find acceptance, love and freedom — despite your shortcomings.
Once you've confessed the sin and asked Jesus to help you change (called repentance), you can stop flogging yourself. Now with your relationship fully restored with God, you can take the often difficult steps toward growth and change. (The Holy Spirit will help you.)
Next, you really need to make things right with the ones you lied to and cheated against. This is the truly hard part, isn't it? But if you've truly made things right with God, He'll help you take these next steps.
Spend time in prayer, asking God for the right words and the right timing. Then step out in faith.
HEY MIKE! What's the best way to find out if a girl has any feelings for me? And if she does, how should I talk to her about them?
—M.C., Millstone N.J.
You've probably noticed that when a guy is friends with a girl and then asks her out, the relationship can get messed up. Either the girl doesn't have feelings for the guy, then feels awkward, or the two go out for a while, make some mistakes and then aren't friends anymore.
Obviously, you want to avoid this.
Yet, you'll eventually face the risk of sharing your feelings with a girl you want to go out with, which involves the risk of rejection. But almost everything worthwhile comes by taking some kind of risk.
Here's how you can minimize rejection and maximize success:
• Don't rush the relationship. If the friendship is solid, keep it that way for as long as possible. As your trust grows and communication improves, you'll be in a better position to talk about each other's feelings. But get this: When it comes to girls, you can't have too many female friends.
• Go with group fun. Invite this girl to join you and your friends in some group activities. This deflates the pressure — not to mention the temptation factor — and allows you to multiply the possibilities for fun.
• Get a clue about her actions. You can gauge her feelings for you by considering these questions: Does she go out of her way to be near you? Do you sense she's making an effort to talk to you? Is she flirting with you?
