HEY MIKE! I’m in desperate need of some dating advice. I want to ask out a girl, but where I live the only things we can do are eat in restaurants or go to the movies. Any ideas?
—C.D., Asheville, N.C.
Creativity is the key to a great date. Most girls love it when guys put some thought into their time together.
I agree: Definitely skip the movie option. (How can you really get to know a person while sitting in a dark theater and staring at a screen?) But grabbing a burger and fries together is a good place to start. Sharing a meal gives the two of you a chance to talk and to get to know each other. Conversation is essential to deepening your friendship.
But once you’ve scarfed your last fry, and feel as if you’re running out of stuff to talk about, what’s next? The possibilities are endless:
• If you’re at the mall, cruise over to an indoor climbing wall for some high-adrenaline fun. (A lot of shopping centers or wilderness supply stores offer them.)
• Head to a bookstore or music outlet and discuss your favorite novel or listen to some music.
• Feeling really bold? Cut a crazy demo at one of those insta-record-a-song shops.
• Recruit some friends and have a video marathon at someone’s house. Pop open some sodas and make it a Saturday afternoon video marathon.
• Go on a group date to a sporting event or a theme park. Doing stuff in groups takes away a lot of pressure if you have a hard time coming up with stuff to talk about, and it keeps you from being alone with your date too much.
HEY MIKE! I’m 15, and I’ve struggled with pornography since I was 12. I hate what lust does to my relationship with Christ. What I do makes me sick, but when temptation presents itself, it seems so attractive. I talk to my dad all of the time about my struggles, and he’s very supportive and forgiving. Yet I can’t seem to avoid surfing the Internet or fantasizing about sex. After I’ve lusted, I feel horrible. I promise God that it won’t happen again. Then a few days later, I end up doing the same things. I feel like the apostle Paul: “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). I want freedom from lust. I feel as if I’m in a big hole, and I keep digging in deeper. Can you help me out?
—E.N., Dallas
Lust control is a subject common to most Breakaway readers. Turn to p. 14 and read about one young man’s awesome victory in “Invisible Monster.” But before you do this, E.N., let’s examine a few steps every guy must take in order to find freedom from lust.
As you’ll often hear me say, the key to dealing with this problem is total honesty with God — and yourself. I’m proud of you for taking this first step. You’re not afraid to admit your struggle, and you have the courage to say, “ENOUGH!”
Now to attack this problem, you must not allow it to have a foothold in your heart. How? By being honest about a few things:
Truth No.1: Lust must be “fed” to survive. Prolonged sexual thoughts and desires can’t exist without your permission. You simply cannot allow your mind (and your eyes) to feast on things that fuel those desires. This could mean avoiding some Web sites, magazines, movies and music, for starters.
Truth No. 2: Lust is the opposite of love. The desire to be close to someone special is a natural God-given desire. Satan has perverted that desire, trying to convince us that the opposite sex was created to fulfill a sexual fantasy. We may think we want sex, but what we really want is a friend we can share our lives with one day in marriage. Don’t let your thoughts settle for a cheap thrill when you can save yourself for true intimacy in marriage.
Truth No. 3: Lust will beat you if you play one-on-one. But it can’t beat your “team.” Who’s on your team? Several players: The Holy Spirit (He can give you power to overcome sin — when you ask), God’s Word (God can show you verses to use as an offensive weapon against impure thoughts), your youth leader, a close Christian guy friend, thankfully even your dad. They’ve all faced (or are facing) the same struggle. 
