HEY MIKE! While I’m not struggling with porn right now, I must admit that I really enjoy looking at my friend’s collection of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues. I also catch myself lingering a bit when I see ads in magazines that feature beautiful models. Are these things really all that bad? I mean, since lust is such an intense battle at times, can’t these pictures be alternatives to porn?
—S.A., Trumbull, Conn.
While this may sound extreme, anything or anyone that arouses you in a lustful way can be a form of pornography. What’s more, you can’t substitute a lesser sin for a “big” one.
Here’s the standard godly guys must follow: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
So, if you’re honest with yourself, you know that sneaking a peek at your friend’s swimsuit issue and lingering over airbrushed models in mags is only fueling your lust battle, NOT helping it.
Here’s what I want you to understand, S.A.:
You’re not alone in your struggle with lust. All guys of a certain age share the same desperate plea: “It’s as if lust is controlling me! I beg God to forgive me, and I even promise to stop doing what I don’t want to do. But then I fail — again and again. HELP!”
Get to the real problem. It usually isn’t what you think it is. Struggles with lust are almost always just mere symptoms. The real problem is actually a heart problem. And the only way to fix a mixed-up, sin-filled heart is by having a daily truth encounter. That means spending time in the Word and in prayer.
Saturate your mind with Scripture. Let me repeat what I’ve said before in this column: There is God-breathed power in the Bible that saturates our hearts and shapes our lives into what the Lord wants them to be. Combine Bible reading with prayer and we’ve got a powerful weapon — an invisible sword, so to speak — that can fend off any deception and defeat ANY struggle that threatens to trap us.
Share your struggle with God. Too many teens mistakenly believe that the Lord doesn’t want them to be honest about their struggles. They think that He will be upset if they tell Him how they really feel. But if God already knows everything about you, even your secret sins can’t make Him stop loving you. He wants you to experience His love, forgiveness and power in all areas of your life if you’ll only pour out your heart to Him.
HEY MIKE! I can’t seem to get along with my parents. It seems as if I constantly lose my cool and get angry with them. What should I do?
—J.D., Durham, N.H.
First, try to figure out what’s making you mad and why you clash with Mom and Dad. Often it’s a matter of an unresolved issue: Maybe you feel as if they say no to your requests for later weekend curfews. Perhaps you feel as if they side with your brother or sister during disagreements. Or could it be a privacy issue? Do you need them to back off and give you more space?
Once you nail what’s really bugging you, you’ve got to talk to God about it. Ask Him to show you what’s really going on and how to handle your struggle. Ask Him to help you change things from the inside out.
Next, sit down with your parents and talk things through. Sort out your feelings and think through your conversation before you approach them. Above all, stay calm and show respect. 
