HEY MIKE! I’m 14 and still a virgin, yet my virginity has become a joke around school. How can I turn this around and use my convictions as a witnessing tool?
—R.A., Amarillo, Texas
First of all, way to go! Believe me, you’re going to be glad you’ve made the choice to keep yourself sexually pure.
Listen to what to 16-year-old Daniel of Russellville, Ark., has to say about this: “I ended up having sex and tossing aside my virginity like an old rag. Even though God has forgiven me, it'll be a long time before I forgive myself (if ever). I have lost something precious — something I can never get back. Listen, guys, I wish I’d never had sex. I’m more ashamed of this than anything I’ve ever done in my life. Stay pure.”
Daniel learned a painful lesson, and makes an important point: We must obey God’s plans, not follow the crowd. Also, you don’t need to to worry too much about turning your convictions into some kind of witnessing tool. Who you are, what you stand for and what you’re unwilling to fall for makes a statement loud enough for everybody to hear. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be making fun of you.
Also, don’t let the jokes and stuff get to you, R.A. As long as people laugh at the will of God, there will be more tears, more unwanted pregnancies, more people getting used, more hurt, more guilt and more regret. Behind all those jokes and cutting remarks, I’ll guarantee you there are a lot of broken hearts and broken promises.
And all of it stems from one thing: broken commandments.
Don’t buy the lie, R.A. Stand strong and stay pure.
HEY MIKE! I’ve always believed in keeping my virginity until marriage. However, my current girlfriend has a different viewpoint about sex. In her opinion, it’s OK to engage in a sexual activity, as long as that activity does not include the word sex. She has a strong faith and is confident in her belief that no sin is committed if “other playful things are done.” Her thoughts and confidence have created confusion within me. Are her interpretations right or wrong? How do we know where to draw the line?
—Name Withheld
Let me get this straight. Your girlfriend actually believes that two unmarried people can engage in any sexual activity as long as that experience isn’t described by a three-letter word? And you’re seriously falling for this? Be honest, and you’ll admit that “playing around sexually” is still “playing around sexually” — which means you’re treading into dangerous territory. Why? Sex is progressive.
For guys, once our engines are fired up, our “internal control centers” scream “GO!” not “STOP!” And the further we go, the harder stopping becomes.
Instead of asking, “How far can we go without crossing the line?” a real man of God seeks to be uncompromising in his attitude toward sin. He flees from anything that’s questionable. Above all, choosing to remain pure isn’t a matter of simply holding to technical virginity: “Hey, we didn’t have intercourse, so it’s not really sex — or sin.”
I like what a friend of mine once said: “God’s concern for virginity is not a matter of anatomy but of privacy. He wants us to reserve our ‘private parts’ for the privacy of marriage.”
So, where should Christians draw the line sexually? Flip through the Bible and you’ll uncover the standards God wants us to follow:
• “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
• “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” ((Ephesians 5:3).
• “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).
I’m sorry to have to say this, but you need to end this relationship real quickly! I’m proud of your desire to remain a virgin until marriage. Don’t blow it, OK? Believe me when I say that your girlfriend is much more likely to bring you down than you are to bring her up.
HEY MIKE! My parents don’t let me date or go to dances. A girl I like understands, but my friends don’t. Got any suggestions on how to explain my parents’ values to my friends?
—C.K., Hanna, Alberta
You know what? It’s probably not that big of a deal if your friends understand your parents’ values. To cope with this situation, the only person who really needs to understand your parents’ values is you. That may mean you won’t agree with every decision they make, but if you can understand why your parents feel the way they do, you’ll be able to explain it better to yourself and to your friends.
Sooner or later, you’ll realize you can’t make everybody happy. If your friends don’t understand your parents, that may just be tough. Disagreements on stuff every now and then are pretty normal.
HEY MIKE! I think God is leading me to witness at my public school, but I have no idea how to start. Any ideas?
—B.G., San Jose, Calif.
Start meeting with other Christians at your school and begin praying regularly for your campus — not just for the students, but for teachers and administrators, too. Maybe you could get together before school one day a week, or perhaps lunch would work better. Don’t make a big deal about it in the initial stages. (That might raise some red flags with the faculty.) Just start quietly, without a lot of fanfare . . . and pray.
Start mentioning to nonbelieving friends what Jesus means to you and how He helps your daily life. Influencing a campus for Christ happens one person at a time. How? By loving people, modeling Christ and sharing your faith when the time is right. 
