HEY MIKE! I just found out one of my friends from church tried weed with some friends from a supposedly Christian camp. She says she really liked it and doesn’t care what anyone thinks and that she won’t stop because she has it “under control.” I tried talking to her and telling her what the long-term effects are (because I’ve tried it myself). But she won’t listen and just goes on about how great it is and that it’s not like she’ll do it all the time. I’ve been praying for her, but I just want to know if there’s anything else I can do. Please help.
— K.K., Lunenburg, Mass.
Let’s explore your options. You could:
a. Keep quiet and not say anything — until you’re asked to visit her in the hospital.
b. Go to her parents and talk to them about your concerns.
c. Find a new friend.
d. Go to your friend with a trusted adult.
First, “a” seems kind of phony. How can you be someone’s friend and just stand by and watch her self-destruct? Plus, if you’re not careful, you may end up being part of her game: “Hey, K.K., you’ve got to back me up, man. I told my folks that I was out with the youth group. If they find out that I went to the party, I’ll be in big trouble. Can you vouch for me?”
You could go to her parents (“b”), but I’m not sure if that’s the best solution. Frankly, I don’t think her mom and dad are as blind as she thinks. They probably know something’s up. Sooner or later, she’s going to forget to cover her tracks, and her parents are going to discover her game anyway.
This leaves “c” and “d.” Going with “c” alone is pretty cold. (It also isn’t a very compassionate response, right?) But a tough-love approach just might be the answer here. So consider trying a combination of the two.
Here’s what I suggest: Go to your friend with your youth pastor (or one of your parents) and tell her that you don’t like what she is doing to herself. Explain that it’s hard to respect a girl whose life is one big lie. Then tell her that she must turn her life around or find a new friend.
Sin always has a way of trapping more than one person at a time. Your friend needs to understand that her lifestyle choices affect everybody around her — including you.
HEY MIKE! I’m having a really tough time getting closer to God. I love Him , and I know that He loves me, but no matter how much I pray and ask God to help me get closer to Him, I just can’t do it. Is there anything that might help me?
—C.R., Cincinnati
What you’re describing sounds like a “wilderness experience” — those rugged seasons of our faith when, regardless of how fervently we pray, we feel alone and disconnected from God. At times like this, we often don’t sense His presence or feel very Christian.
Believe it or not, what you’re going through is pretty normal. It happens to nearly every believer at almost any stage of our walk with Christ. Why? For lots of reasons:
• we’re struggling emotionally
• we’re physically weak or sick
• God is trying to get our attention
• there’s a sin we need to confess
• Bible reading is being neglected
• our minds are preoccupied with something or someone other than God
Is anything on this list hitting home? Turn off the TV, get alone with God and set aside some uninterrupted time to reflect and pray about why you can’t seem to connect with Him. Pour out your heart and tell God how you feel. Ask Him to reveal anything in your life that you need to work on. Above all, don’t stop praying just because you can’t sense God. He hears you regardless of how you feel. Also, talk this out with a trusted Christian adult.
Here’s one last thing I want you to do: Head to your local Christian bookstore and get a devotional that will help guide you through your quiet times. You may also want to reread “Breaking Through the Silence.” 
