HEY MIKE! Thanks for all of the advice. I really appreciate all that you say to Breakaway guys, especially about dating and getting to know girls. And, speaking of females, I’m a shy guy, so I’m clueless about how to talk to them. Any tips you can share?
— J.B., Richmond, Va.
HEY MIKE! I really like this girl, but I don’t know how to talk to her. What should I do?
—A.V., St. Louis
Here’s what I suggest to both of you:
Be Casual. Don’t go overboard trying to impress a girl. Get to know her as a friend. How? Find stuff you have in common, then ask questions: “How much money did you raise for the missions trip?” or “Are you going to the youth group party this weekend?” If you’re eating pizza at the same table, talk pizza. If you go bowling, offer to carry the ball to her lane.
Be Yourself. So what if you end up saying or doing something that makes you feel stupid? If she is interested in you, she’ll like you anyway. Don’t try to be perfect, and, above all, don’t try to be something you’re not. Take a deep breath, smile and just be yourself.
Be Godly. Through the years, we at Breakaway have talked to a lot of girls, asking them what qualities they look for in guys. Godliness is the No. 1 answer. It’s a huge turnoff to tell them you’re a Christian, then act the opposite. Show her that Christ is at the center of your life: Treat her and others with respect and make an effort to do stuff that pleases God, not the crowd.
HEY, MIKE! A buddy of mine is really angry with God right now. He has gone through some serious hard times lately and isn’t sure what he believes. I fear he has totally turned his back on God. I want to reach out to him, but I’m not sure what I can do. Any ideas?
—G.M., Arcadia, Calif.
It worries me because, lately, I’ve gotten quite a few letters like yours. Let me share what I’ve told others: You need to be a friend who’s willing to stick with him.
The truth is, many faith-related hurts can’t be solved overnight. They often take time to heal. So for now, don’t preach or try to be a parent or a pastor; just be yourself. Keep loving and listening. Keep being an example through your faith. Most important, don’t stop praying. After all, God is the One who opens the door to faith. If it’s His will, He’ll change your friend’s heart — but on His terms and in His time.
The night Jesus was betrayed by Judas and deserted by His closest friends, He told them something they’d never forget: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
Even though Jesus’ friends abandoned Him, Jesus still laid down His life for them. That’s radical friendship!
