Quick—what are you thinking about? C’mon, be honest. Besides nothin’, we know you’ve got girls on the brain. You write us letters all the time asking questions about how to tell if Leanne really likes you or how to handle it because Janelle broke up with you or. . . . You get the picture.
Hey, it’s only natural. You probably remember the day not so long ago when all of a sudden, those gross, cootie-infested giiiirls started looking good and seeming awfully interesting. Of course, when it comes to females, interesting includes a whole lot of confusing.
That’s where your GQ comes in. Just as your IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is supposed to tell how smart you are, your GQ lets you know how smart you are when it comes to treating and relating to girls. It’s your Girl Intelligence Quotient. Never heard of it? Neither had we until we made it up. But it’s time to find out what yours is by taking our test. Don’t worry; we’ll give you plenty of tips to raise your GQ a few points.
Just remember, girls are complex creatures, so we won’t claim that these wise insights apply to every single female out there. Just as you have your own personality and preferences, so does every chica. And they’re putting just as much energy into trying to understand you. But these tips will give you some understanding of the minds of girls worth getting to know a little better.
Ready? Begin!
1. Ashley’s birthday is coming up. You’ve been digging her all year long. But how are you gonna get her a gift as cool as you think she is? This is your big chance to finally impress her, right? So you . . .
a. empty your bank account and slap down all your cash on the biggest diamond earrings you can afford.
b. get her friends to take you shopping and let them pick out a sweater they like.
c. write her a song on your guitar or trumpet—or burn a mixed CD of her favorite songs.
2. You’re headed to lunch after a fourth period biology lecture on evolution. Brianna just told the class that she believes the Bible’s account of God creating the earth. A couple students laughed and rolled their eyes, but now Mo’ (that’s short for Mo’ Bigger Than You) is ripping her for her “stupid” beliefs. Whoa! It’s gettin’ ugly! You . . .
a. laugh at her and tag team the put-downs with Mo’.
b. feel bad and don’t laugh. But you don’t say anything either. Better Brianna looks like an idiot than you, right?
c. tell Mo’, “Hey, leave her alone. It took guts to stand up for what she believes. Besides, I believe the Bible too.”
3. Every time you get within 50 yards of Haley, your knees begin shaking and your stomach thinks it’s on a trampoline. She’s a Christian. She’s kind, funny and beautiful! You’d stand up Hilary Duff any day to get to hang out with Haley. It’s time she notices me, you decide. So you . . .
a. punch her in the shoulder, pull her hair and knock her books out of her hands, especially when all your friends are around to laugh.
b. dye your hair purple, tattoo her name across your back and run through the halls waving a flag that says, “Haley, I love you!”
c. take a deep breath, go to her locker and say hi. Walk her to class and ask questions that help you get to know her a little better.
4. Mariah’s a great friend. You’ve hung out a lot at basketball games and church, and you even talk sometimes on the phone. So the other day at Taco Bell, she starts asking if you think all these girls in the restaurant are good-looking. OK, whatever. Some are cute, and some aren’t. But then, she says, “Do you think I’m pretty?” After you choke on your chalupa, you . . .
a. totally ignore her question and keep shouting, “Ay caramba!” every time a girl walks by.
b. answer “Umm, well, you’re . . . OK. Are you gonna eat the rest of that taco grande?”
c. tell her, “Yeah, but it’s really cool that you’re not totally into your looks or worrying about your image all the time.”
5. You just got your driver’s license—and Julie said yes when you asked to take her to the youth group moviefest. You meet her at the front door, and as you head toward your newly “acquired” (as in “borrowed from Dad”) wheels, you . . .
a. leave Julie standing on the porch and bolt for the bumper to scrub off that smudge of mud.
b. beep the keyless entry and head straight for the driver’s side.
c. escort Julie to the passenger side, where you open her door, wait for her to get in and close it behind her.
6. OK, you’ve been going out with Alyssa for like six weeks now. She really likes to hold your hand and hug you. Cool, you think. So you’re over at her house; her family’s upstairs. And you start kissing—and you keep kissing. Wow, things are starting to feel pretty heated. You . . .
a. lie down on the couch and keep kissing—and whatever else might happen. This feels too good to stop.
b. call it quits reluctantly, but only after Alyssa says she thinks you’d better quit.
c. stop, explain that you’re seriously committed to sexual purity and talk about where you both need to set clear physical boundaries.
7. You’ve been hearing about how girls like sensitive guys. You’re all, What’s that supposed to mean? But you decide to give it a try. I mean, if chicks dig sensitive, then you’ll show Sarah that you’re the Mac-Daddy of sensitivity. So you . . .
a. pinch yourself until the tears are flowing freely. Then run up, hug Sarah and tell her between sobs how special she is to you.
b. invite her over to watch Bambi and give her a cute little stuffed deer to hold while she cries.
c. talk to her about life and listen closely when she tells you what she’s struggling with. Send her an encouraging note to remind her you’re thinking about her and hoping she has a great day.
8. You’re getting ready to celebrate your 10-day anniversary with Ling. She passes you a note in history that says, “We need to talk.” So you figure it must be to decide whose parents are going to drive you to the big dinner. But after school, she tells you it’s over. “Let’s just be friends,” she says. So you . . .
a. call her mean names and start spreading rumors about her around school.
b. keep calling her every night and writing her notes. You’re just being a friend, right? And she must have really meant that she still likes you anyway.
c. give it some time to let the hurt heal before you hang out and eventually try talking again, because you care about Ling as a person and friend.
9. For weeks, you’ve been hanging around Emily as much as you can: in study hall, at lunch, between classes. She’s always really nice, and you love being around her. You get up your nerve and ask her out. But she answers, “I love hanging out with you, but I don’t like you like that.” Major bummer! You . . .
a. get depressed and tell her she’s ruined your life. Maybe if you make her feel sorry for you, she’ll change her mind.
b. save your pride by saying, “Fine, no big deal. Just thought I’d ask.” Then avoid her at all costs for the next three weeks.
c. let her know you’d hoped there could be more to your relationship, but that you understand her feelings. Tell her you value her friendship and you’d like to still hang out and have fun together.
Tally That Total
Time to add your score and see if you’ve got what it takes to be good with the girls. For every answer c you chose, give yourself 5 points. Tally 2 for every b. And those a’s? Duh! Every single one earns you . . . nada, zip, zero, nothing. Hey, you’re lucky we didn’t subtract points for those stupid answers!
Keep reading to see why you’re getting’ your points—and why c stands for correct answer. Then rank yourself on the GQ scale.
1. TV may tell you that big bucks impress babes, but in real life, a girl worth getting to know wants to see that you’re willing to work hard, spend wisely and put some thought into who she is and what she likes. A leaves you broke and clueless.
2. Nothing impresses a girl more than sticking up for her—except maybe being confident enough to stand up for what you believe, especially your faith. b. You say you didn’t laugh? No risk, no guts. You’re lucky to get 2 points.
3. Hey, girls get a little nervous too, but they tell us all the time, “We just want guys to talk to us.” Trust us, just be yourself and use a few words to find out who Haley really is. It’ll open the door to friendship and tame those monster butterflies. Though b will probably embarrass her beyond comprehension, you get your 2 for the extreme, if not misdirected, effort. A? Hel-lo! That quit working in second grade.
4. Girls get slammed from every side with unrealistic pressures from TV shows, advertisements, movies and magazines telling them they’ve got to look just right to get any attention in this society. We all need to feel valued, and it’s especially important to girls to know that they’re attractive. Take 2 bonus points for this c. Not only did you validate her outer looks, but you encouraged her for focusing on inner beauty.
5. Girls go ga-ga for guys who are thoughtful and courteous. Opening doors for her shows that you’re putting Julie first, which shows that you respect her. What’s more, it even demonstrates an attitude like Jesus’—willing to serve others.
6. It’s no secret that girls are affectionate. They hug each other at least 18 times a day, so you can imagine how special it is to get physical affection from guys they like. But want to know what makes the biggest impression? A guy who’s committed to following God’s plan for sexual purity and who’s willing to respect a girl enough to take leadership in setting physical limits—especially before you have the chance to get into the heat of the moment. Grab 2 bonus points if you thought you should have set boundaries with Alyssa before you even started kissing. Any victory over sexual temptation is a good one, but watch out in the future if b was your choice. As for a, DANGER! You’re headed for trouble and showing unwise judgment in more than one way.
7. Women want to know what’s going on inside. You know, what you’re thinking and feeling. They love it when a guy shows compassion for others and when he cares enough to listen to what they’re thinking and feeling. She’ll at least think Bambi is sweet. But no girl wants a weeping weenie. A gets you . . . Sarah running away.
8. It always hurts to break up. And it reeks when you’re not the one choosing to end it. (That’s one reason many of you choose courtship over dating.) But when it’s over, it’s best to let it be over. Give it some time to let the awkwardness and pain go away before trying to be best buds with the girl. So you’re trying to take Ling at her word with b? Sounds like you’re trying to put words in her mouth—and feelings in her heart. And a? DUH! Minus 5.
9. The lesson to remember here is that when a girl says she doesn’t like you like that, she means . . . she doesn’t like you like that. Don’t take it as a total rejection. Instead, be content with the great friendship with a cool girl. You’ll still get to hang out with her and do stuff in groups. What an awesome chance to learn more about women. That’s probably even better than taking this quiz.
And the Winner Is . . .
Get out the calculator. If your Girl Quotient is . . .
35 or more: Congratulations, young GQ Jedi! You’ve shown great wisdom with women. Keep respecting ‘em. Your future wife will be happy you did.
25-34: Pretty cool, Cassanova. You’ve got some good ideas when it comes to girls. Pay a little more attention when you’re chillin’ with the chicks and you’ll be a GQ master before you know it.
10-24: You’re smack in the middle, Malcolm. But there’s still hope. Watch for more girl stories in Breakaway. Read them with a female buddy and get her tips for aiming for the GQ top.
Less than 10: Thanks for playing, but you’ve ranked as a GQ Grinch—complete with a heart three sizes too small. Your consolation prize is a trip to the Brio mag Web site, before it’s too late for you. 
